Some Part Missing

Well I think it's quite a while. I've been having this feeling, maybe so long that I have to write about it. I am one of those carefree, wild, loud, outgoing type of a person. Whenever I say I'm an introvert, people who know me will always disagree. And I am not embarrass nor shy about it. I am proud to be an EXTROVERT type of a person. And this characteristics of mine is the main reason why I feel so down most of the time when I am alone and just thinking about my day. I can't feel nor be the extrovert me. And as much as I don't want to blame me as a corps man, but I just do. I can't have fun, bond as much as my other block mates bond with each other. I feel so left out. Everyday there is something I don't know for the reason that I was not there. I don't like it. I really don't. I want to be with them most of the time. I want to have fun with them. O don't want to be left out- just for the reason that I am a corps man. A dream come true that I am in a dorm. I deal with other people. Bur unfortunately, not what I expected. When I go home to where I am staying now, I have to study or I am just so tired and wanted to sleep. And these are the reasons why I can't, again, bond with my roommates too much. Boarders from the other rooms, whom they just met, are even closer to them. WTF! I feel so left out. It seems that I am JUST HERE. I am here to sleep. I really want to get closer to them. But how? I'm a corps man. I don't have the time. They say that it's good. I experience things other people will never experience. But these experiences are never seen by other people. And the experiences I miss is right in front of me. Shouting at me. I just can't be there. This really sucks. Sucks for me. I don't like these. I want the extrovert me. I want to make some noise and be loud and nobody cares. I miss myself. It seems that some part of me are missing. It seems that I am so incomplete. I feel left out. I feel incomplete. I miss the civilian life. I WANT THE CAREFREE, LOUD, NOISY FRANZ XAVIER C. FELICIANO